Elgon the Tomato Thief

Original short story from Tales of the Hyden Archeress

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The leaves of the trees in this old forest had only just started to change their colouring and some had begun to fall to the ground. Everyone knows this is the time for ripe fruitful bounty, and on this particular day, one such tomato had gotten too heavy from its massive size for its stem, and had fallen to the ground, ready for the next phase of its being.

The tomato plant itself had come from a crow. This particular crow had rightfully stolen the plant from a long off farmer (who had no doubt done the crow some sort of injustice, for we all know how crows are with revenge. A tale for another time, perhaps). The crow had replanted it and cared for it, right here in this spot, where an opening in the forest canopy shown life-giving sunshine straight down on it all summer long.

All summer long, however, a lowly gnome discovered the plant, and also came to this spot, and gave the plant nutrient rich top soil, and ample spring water, and told it stories from his underground quarters over in the High Hill.

Neither crow nor gnome crossed paths all summer, though they both visited the plant daily, watching the tomatoes grow larger, first with a small yellow flower, then dripping green, with youthful fruit. They both watched separately as the stem supplied the body with nutrients that changed its color from green to red. And both creatures believed they were the rightful bearer of the plant's enormous tomato.

The crow had to travel many miles from its nest on the far edge of the forest to visit the plant everyday, and the gnome had to tread many trail up and down, back and forth to find this particular spot. So you can surly guess, when one claimed the tomato over the other, a right word was had about it.

Both knew the tomato was soon to fall in the days leading up, and they both waited with baited breath in anticipation of its departure from the plant. Because both were watching and waiting so eagerly, they both hastened on this particular day to the sunlit grove, meeting each other face to face for the first time, with the fallen tomato between them. For a moment, they just stared each other down in surprise and question. Then, glaring into the crows beady eyes, the gnome started to lower his hand toward the tomato. The crow let out a harsh caw which startled the gnome, and the crow quickly asked "what do you think you are doing with my tomato, tiny man?"

"Your tomato?? I have grown this tomato all summer! It is rightfully mine!" shouted the gnome.

"Perhaps you'd like to use it for a nose, you clown! For your statement is entirely false and laughable." cackled the crow. "I am here everyday tending to this plant, I planted it myself!"

"Preposterous! This is a wild plant, and therefore belongs to whoever finds it first. Which was most certainly me." claimed the gnome.

"HA! Wild you say? Do you see any other wild tomatoes growing in this part of the forest?" Now, it happened that the crow did not want to admit that she stole the plant from a farmer, and so thought it would be best if she instead, outwitted the small gnome for the tomato.

"Well... indeed, no, I have not seen any other like this particular plant here." replied the gnome. "But that does not proved you planted it yourself. I know your kind. You are tricksy, and dishonest. And would most certainly lie to cheat me out of my prize!"

"The audacity of you to think you know me!" shrieked the crow. "Though I will tell you what, if you can guess the name I have given this tomato, you can have it."

The gnome agreed to this challenge, and guessed things like "tomato" and "fruit" and "red". But of course, this was a trick from the crow, because she had given it no name.

For some time, the gnome guessed every word he could think of, growing more and more frustrated with every wrong answer. In his frustration came the use of force. He began to say things like "push" while shoving the crows shoulder, and "poke" while poking her in the beak, and "stomp" while he tread his bare foot on her talons, to which she had enough.

Without any more words spoken, a squabble broke out directly over the gigantic tomato. An Archeress sat in the tree above these happenings and could see that the crow was besting the gnome, and in her anger, was about to take the small mans life, and the Archeress could not allow this to happen.

Down she jumped, startling the two. "Do you see what you've done?" she questioned urgently. But off flew the crow (for we all know they are scaredy-cats).

The gnome sat in the dirt, gasping for air and covered in the remains of the tomato. "Oh no, what have I done?" he studied, looking about him in disbelieve and heartbreak. He looked up at the Archeress and said humbly "oh miss, you saved me, I am forever indebted to you."

She stood quickly and stated "oh thats not necessary. That crow had the better of you, and you were making a right mess of the path out of here. I am only passing through."

"Oh you must allow me to come with you! I have told my whole village about my tomato, it could feed the whole lot of us. I cannot go back empty handed. They would not let me in, for they would think I a lier." said the gnome gloomily.

"Are you a lier?" asked the Archeress.

"I am not!" he replied. "Well... not about this tomato. The tomato is real... Or at least, it was. I have made too many mistakes, this was my last chance. I cannot go back. There must be something I can do for you, your sovereignty. I am bound to assist you after you've now saved my life." and he gently bowed.

"Thank you, but no." she responded. "I travel much, and I do not believe you can keep up."

"Nonsense! I can fit right in your quiver, and hand you your arrows!"

"I am sorry, but I do not have a job for you."

"I could fit right in your hood, on your shoulder, and whisper to you about danger!"

"I do not think..."

"I am BOUND" boomed the small man. The Archeress was taken aback by this sudden outburst from such a small creature.

"My apologies," he said with a bow. "It is only... there are powers at work here now, since you have saved my life, that are more powerful than we. I must assist you somehow. I am bound to repayment for your generous act of salvation." The Archeress, in discontent, scoffed at this, and turned to leave. As if by a magnetic force, the small gnome followed. The Archeress could hear his small feet behind her and she stopped. The gnome also stopped. She began walking again, he began walking again. She stopped again, he stopped again. She dropped her head heavy and sighed hard. Low and behold, so did the gnome. She turned to look over her shoulder and realized she had no choice.

"What is your name, little one?" she asked.

"Oh, my name is Elgon. Elgon of the High Hill." he replied with a bow. "And what shall I call you, master?"

"Not 'Master'. I am known around by The Hydan Archeress," and with this Elgon gasp." Oh great Seanchaí!" he exclaimed. "I have heard many of your tales! They spread far and wide throughout the land! I know how I can assist you!"

"Do you... and how might that be?"

"Oh I can help you tell your tales! I am an accomplished scribe! Please! I can write down all of your adventures and they can be read in every corner of the country!" he begged. The Archeress thought for a moment. She did have many tales, some she was starting to forget because there were so many. She knew from her experience telling them that people love stories. And it seemed she did not have a choice of freedom from the little man. She may as well give him some of her stories to write down and keep him occupied and out of her hair.

"Hm, that is not a bad idea," she replied. "but you must write them just as I tell them, and nothing more."

"Oh but of course! What luck I have! Writing for the Hydan Archeress!" he said excitedly. And with that, the two wandered down the path, off to another adventure.

And that is how the tales of the Hydan Archeress came to be written here for you to read. For who knows if you would have ever heard her stories if it weren't for a giant tomato.